


Wandering Feet, Stable Heart

by thegizka



Series: Batfam Week 2018 [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfam Week 2018, Drabble, Fluff, Gen, Haly's Circus, The Flying Graysons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 05:18:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15526893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegizka/pseuds/thegizka
Summary: Dick cannot stay in one place for long.  It's in his nature.  But there are some things he keeps coming back to.





	Wandering Feet, Stable Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I love Dick Grayson.
> 
> Written for Batfam Week 2018 Day 3: Homecoming.

Dick was restless by nature.  Staying too long in one place made him itch for change.  His mind was always drawn to the horizon, impressed with the sense that there was more to see.  He needed the freedom of movement to feel satisfied. It was a characteristic of his Romani blood.

In the early years, the circus provided the right balance of stability with adventure.  There was always another city to see, another journey to take, but there was also the same people along for the ride.  His mother used to tell him that home was with the people who felt like family, and for young Dick, he was at home wherever the circus tent was set.  With his parents, the crew hands, the other performers, and the animals, he was comfortable growing and learning, stretching his legs and leaping into whatever adventure was next.

But that changed, as so much of his life had, one night in Gotham.  He had been so excited to see this city, Metropolis’s darker sister.  He was thrilled by the sense of danger, that particular adrenaline he felt right before letting go on the trapeze and letting himself fly untethered through the air.  Like the trapeze, he was surrounded by his family, safe and comfortable, so the danger was never a real cause for concern. He never suspected the dark underbelly of the city would invade his home.

And just like that, he was lost.  Without his mother and father, separated from the circus, he was sucked into stagnation.  He was left without a home. It was inherently wrong and the exact opposite of everything he had known.  His world was backwards, and to make matters worse, he was stuck in the city that had taken it all away from him.

At least he had had Bruce.  A sympathetic shoulder from a person who understood some of what he was feeling was soothing to a heart that had openly shared its life with an entire circus troupe.  But the adjustment to life in the manor was beyond his new guardian’s sympathy in many ways. How could he tell Bruce he was more comfortable sleeping on a moving train than in a normal bed?  How could he say he needed to leave, to go somewhere else, without being rude? How could he convey how lost he was when for the first time in his life he had exact geographical coordinates to return to?

He was stuck, his world suddenly confined to a handful of people and a handful of locations.  It didn't sit right with him. He had difficulty staying in the same bed in the same room every night, so he would wander the manor when he should be sleeping, exploring until he was so tired he would curl up in whatever corner he had found.  He meandered through the endless maze of rooms until he had them memorized and the walls began feeling like they were trapping him in. Then he wandered the manor grounds, memorizing the pathways and exploring the acres until those, too, were committed to memory.  His new world was too defined, the boundaries too close.

Thank goodness Bruce had invited him into the world of the Batman.  Stuck in the same city as the scene of the crime, the taste of tragedy fresh on his tongue, Dick had naturally turned to thoughts of revenge.  If he couldn’t leave, he needed a reason to stay, and finding the perpetrator was the best one he could come up with. Becoming Robin was a twofold relief; not only was he going to get justice for his parents, but he was also allowed to expand the boundaries of his world.  With Batman, he ventured into the streets of the city, mapping them in the dark until they became another part of his territory, until they were as familiar as the back of his hand.

But the city had boundaries.  He may have had more freedom to move, but his world remained confined.  Somehow, though, being Robin made it bearable. It was a source of variety, an excuse to keep moving, a chance to alleviate some of his natural restlessness.  He was never quite sure what he and Bruce would encounter on patrol or where a case might take them. And there was always something else to investigate, another lead to follow.  His duties as Robin became his purpose. It was enough to keep him in Gotham.

Dick didn’t love Gotham like Bruce did.  Even after Zucco was caught and he had closure for his parents’ deaths, Gotham was just a place where he operated.  It was just another city. When he met other heroes, he realized there was crime everywhere, that no city was perfect, and that there was always another job at the end of the current one.  Sure, he made friends and formed happy memories, but he felt no strong attachment to  _ where _ they were.  He wanted to see the future Gotham that Bruce strove for, but it was the same sort of desire as seeing the Eiffel Tower or Mount Fuji.  It would just be another stop in his journey, wherever that was taking him.

As Dick grew up, his restlessness grew, too.  It was surprising that he had been satisfied enough for so many years staying in one place.  It was bound to come to a head at some point. He knew that Bruce’s resistance had been a mixture of paternal worry, surprise, and dislike of change.  He regretted how explosive their argument was. But he had been going stir-crazy, needing the freedom of movement, itching for a change of scene, longing to see what might be on the horizon.  The sense of being stagnant had snuck up on him, and he couldn’t live like that. He hoped Bruce would be able to understand someday.

He did, eventually.  He saw what Dick was able to do with the Titans and in Blüdhaven, the way he connected with people and left his mark across the country.  And wherever he wandered, he almost always took the time to stop by Gotham and say hello to his family. But it was never for long, as his restless heart and feet would take him off again.

Until Gotham was the one place he couldn’t go.  When Bruce had shared his plan to infiltrate and take down Spyral, Dick had immediately agreed.  It was a no-brainer. He needed to lie low after his secret identity was compromised, his skills were well-suited for the job, and he would be protecting the people he loved.  Of course he was up for it. He was even secretly excited about all of the travelling he would do. What he was not excited about was keeping his family in the dark.

Having no contact with them had been much harder than he had expected.  He was in the habit of calling them once in a while or running into them on missions.  He couldn’t do that on this job, though. As far as they knew, he was dead! They  _ mourned _ him.  That was unsettling.  And he missed out on so many important moments--Damian’s return, Tim’s experiences with the Titans, all of Babs’s adventures…  He had to be satisfied with the secret minutes late at night when he heard Bruce or Alfred’s voice over the scrambled radio. He wasn’t.

But he had gotten through it.  They had eventually forgiven him for keeping them in the dark, had understood the importance of secrecy to his mission, had been happy to have him back alive with them.  He was glad Gotham was no longer off limits. He wasn’t sure when he had started thinking of home being there, but when he was in need of particular comfort or confirmation of his place in this crazy world, his feet wandered back to the place where everything had changed.  The city, the manor, the Cave--they were still only stops on his journey. But Alfred’s home-cooked meals, Bruce’s confidence in him, Jason’s teasing, Tim seeking his advice, Cass’s joy while they sparred, Damian’s smirks, Babs’s hugs… These were home, and he would always wander back to them.


End file.
